2 Samuel 13:22, 28-29 Absalom hateth Amnon, because he had forced his sister Tamar….Absalom had commanded his servants, Smite Amnon; then kill him….And the servants of Absalom did unto Amnon as Absalom commanded.
Absalom may have had every earthly good reason to hate his brother for the rape of his sister. But the response of hate is never excusable. Hate is always sin, and hatred is always murder in God’s eyes (Matthew 5:22; 1 John 3:15 “Everyone who hates his brother is a murderer.”) The story of Cain and the story Absalom illustrate this truth. Hatred in the heart literally caused murder in actual fact. God considers it murder, and a violation of the Fifth Commandment, if there is hatred in the heart.
The godly response to pain and offense is to apologize, reconcile, and forgive. We do not let the sun go down on our wrath. Our Lord grants faith in God’s forgiveness so that we might have the power to forgive others. God reconciles us to Himself in Christ so that we have the ministry of reconciliation. We pray for forgiveness and we pray to forgive.
When anger enters the heart we recognize it as the sin of murder, and we deal with it through apology, reconciliation, peacemaking, forgiveness, repentance, and prayer. Our Lord stops the growth and spread of sin. None of us goes through life without pain; therefore, none of us escapes anger and hate. Learning anger management is a necessary spiritual skill, and it can only be taught by the Spirit through the Gospel.